Bi-Polar

Alternative Therapies

 

Many years ago when I was ill for the first and second time, I knew little about strategies for regaining my sense of well-being. I was only offered tablets but, while in hospital, I did go to relaxation sessions. However, there was nothing more on offer. This was in 1989 and the early 1990s.

How much has changed now. Mental Health is on the agenda and discussed openly. Only this weekend, a Times Journalist wrote in the Times Magazine about his descent into and recovery from depression. Sports personalities also discuss their own predisposition to this debilitating condition. We are often surprised as we have only seen them as successful sportsmen.

However, stress and over activity can tip successful people away from being at the top of their game and they can find this difficult to cope with.

Over recent years I have used yoga and, more recently, Mindfulness, to bring myself back to some sense of normality. I have also found a therapist who is trained in several techniques. I have had Indian Head Massage, full massages and facial massage. The latter is wonderful when anxiety is at its worst and I wake up to puffy eyes.

But the most recent therapy I find beneficial has been Reflexology. This, I found more relaxing than a body massage. After one session about two years ago I walked home completely disconnected with the world around me, save for a wide smile on my face. The feeling of well-being was immense. I stopped at the cash point, inserted my card, requested the cash and took my card. I walked away without the money only to realise half way down the street but when I ran back it had gone. Luckily my bank was able to resolve the problem.

A few years ago I visited a Reiki therapist and found it helpful. The therapist then moved away. My love of reflexology over the last few years has caused me to forget that experience but when I discussed my recent acute anxiety with my therapist she suggested that I try Reiki again and, at the end of my reflexology session, she gave me five to ten minutes of the technique.

We have decided that I will have 50/50 Reflexology and Reiki for the next few sessions. I try to visit her once every three to four weeks but during a bad phase I will go more often. I am not rich but I have learnt how to economise in other areas of my life to enable me to afford these treatments. They are the gold dust.

Reiki is apparently particularly beneficial in dealing with anxiety.

I will be writing about my Reiki treatments on this blog so watch this space.

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Bi-Polar

There is always hope

I was told once by a consultant that the important part of coping with depression is to ‘keep striving’.

Keep striving, doing the things that help.

Keep striving to be active.

Keep striving, doing normal daily activities.

Keep seeing people. Don’t shut yourself away.

Keep talking to those nearest to you.

Keep looking after yourself.

I would add:

keep writing ‘to do’ lists and ticking off what you have achieved.

keep a routine – this can be the hardest and often is the first to fail

keep in the moment – as in Mindfulness

keep hoping and don’t give up.

 

As my doctor said, ‘you know this will pass,’

And I have found that it does, eventually.

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Bi-Polar, Uncategorized

Suicide in those with Bi Polar

Living at the coast I am well aware of the power of the sea and how it should not be underestimated but in coastal areas there are other dangers, one of which is the accessibility to cliffs for someone wishing to end their life.

Recently this happened near to where I live. The person was Bi Polar and had stopped taking her medication a week prior to the incident. The dangers of ceasing taking medication when one is Bi Polar are profound. A friend whose Bi Polar son passed through a difficult phase, was advised by a doctor to cease taking one of his mood levelling medications. Within weeks he had committed suicide with devastating effects on his family.

It is easy for me as a compliant BPD sufferer to say we should never, ever cease taking our medication even if we feel particularly well. In fact this is the dangerous point in this most evil of diseases. Sufferers pass through a well phase, feel they can cope with anything and stop taking their tablets. The effect is to cause a sudden sharp dip in mood when the person will become suicidal.

While not wanting to cast an opinion on the role of relatives in this case, those close to the patient should be alert, particularly if they appear resistant to taking medication which is common. If you have a relative who appears reluctant and complains that the medication makes them drowsy and complains about other side effects, this relative is probably vulnerable to believing he or she can do without it.

Those close to me know I am such a fan of my medication they need not worry. This is because for years my non-aware GP failed to refer me for psychiatric help despite the fact that I had received regular checkups at my previous address and all this was documented on my notes. The result was a few years of miserable times coupled with manic highs when I risked much financially and fell out with people. When I was finally referred after the intervention of my partner’s GP, I was put on Quetiapine and immediately felt the effects (once the initial dizziness and muzziness had passed). Eight years later and this has changed my life. I sleep well – Quetiapine has a sedative combined – and the regular sleep has made a difference. Whereas before I had weeks without sleeping or only sleeping 2-3 hours and long periods of early waking – that awful jump start at 5am and the sinking feeling in the stomach that reminds you how depressed you are – I now sleep a regular eight hours and wake refreshed. At night, I fall asleep quickly which prevents rumination and anxiety.

I am not saying it is all plain sailing. There are difficult life events and periods when I may wake on and off and wake up anxious but I use Mindfulness and take a herbal remedy such as Kalms for a week or so until  the symptoms subside.

Years ago I often had suicide ideation – when you do not make plans but the idea is there that one day you might use that way out but this has passed. This is partly because of the medication and partly that I have seven grandchildren and made the decision some years ago that I would not want them to live with the knowledge that their grandmother had taken that route out of life. I want to be a role model for them so they have been my salvation.

My writing is also my therapy and absolutely free. I make sure I write something every day even if it is only a diary entry – when low sometimes the creative juices dry up. However, depression is common amongst writers and research has not established whether it is because depressed people turn to writing as therapy or whether writers are more vulnerable. It is a solitary occupation so writers need to have networks to keep up social interaction.

I feel intense sadness for the family of the person who chose to jump from our nearby cliffs. I can only guess at their heartache and the possible guilt they may feel that they did not recognise the signs or take any action. In mitigation I would say that Bi Polar sufferers are canny hiding their symptoms and mood swings. I am sure that, in this case, the nearest relatives were kept completely in the dark. We are quite private people. We may talk a lot at times and disclose much but we do not wish to burden people with tales of our darker mental states. Also those who sink to such low levels become quite secretive and quiet.

It is therefore no wonder that relatives find themselves unable to prevent such a tragedy. Beyond investigating if medical intervention and monitoring was sufficient – and lets’ face it the mental health services are in disarray with lack of funding, all of which is a disgrace to our present government –  all I can say is they should take some comfort from the fact that this was an action of choice albeit an unfortunate one.

If you know someone who might have stopped taking their medication you need to speak to a medical professional ideally someone with experience and expertise in mental health. Some years ago, it was planned that there would be a point of contact in each GP surgery – a mental health professional or counsellor who could deal with distressed patients or worried relatives on a ‘walk-in’ basis. As far as I am aware this has not happened.

It is time for the government to place importance on mental health services with a view to preventing such tragedies in the future.

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Uncategorized

Improving life

I have been taking an interest in an American website www.psychcentral.com. I found it via a link on Facebook or on another bi-polar blog. These blogs, far from being morbid and self-indulgent, are positive, uplifting and share much useful advice. A psychcentral blogger, Margarita Tartakovsky has written several articles. One of these is Ten Things to Improve Life and these are my interpretations. Her first is write a better story for your day. I say this can be on paper or in your head. I make a list of things to do each day such as exercises, yoga, walks and playing my piano. Reflecting on the positive aspects of a day is also a good idea so writing a diary – something I wish I had done throughout my life – where you log all the good things that happened – can make you feel better.

A more difficult item on her list is Identify what is keeping you stuck. This can be negative thinking or perhaps even another person. Low self esteem can prevent us doing what we need to do. I am stuck at present in ‘Writers’ Block’ although those reading this might think this is not the case. I have a novel that needs a ‘middle’ and lots of re-working and my view is that it is ‘in a mess’. When I looked at it recently I reckoned it was a load of rubbish. When my mood lifts, I may see that it is not so bad. Making myself write up my ideas from Margarita’s blog is releasing something.

Easier is go to bed earlier. I have been doing this for some time now and I do feel better when I am in bed between 10.30 and 11 especially if it means I have time to READ.

Also easier is participate in physical activity which you enjoy. I like walking and yoga so I have built this up in the last two or three weeks and it has made a difference to my mood. I hope to start swimming again in a nearby pool but the weather has been so wet, cold and miserable. This is a form of ‘being stuck’. If I could force myself to go I would benefit.

More difficult is to focus on ‘right now’ and be grounded in the present. I know people on Mindfulness courses. Mindfulness has been found to help with depression and negative thinking. Staying in the moment, without looking back or worrying about the future, really does help the mind to stay positive. I find that when I am writing I am purely in the moment which is, I am sure, why writing has been found to be so therapeutic.

Physical Action is another one of the Ten Things. Often anxiety and depression can make us ‘freeze’ and fail to do the very things that will make us feel better. Being pre-occupied prevents us from pushing on with pleasurable activities, leaves us confused and unable to make decisions which then leads us to feel angry with ourselves. ‘Just do something’ even if it is only a crossword or a Sudoku puzzle. Along with this improvement, however, we must ensure we set realistic and attainable goals. For example, don’t struggle with the Telegraph crossword if a concise one in another paper brings more success.

The seventh item was to reframe a situation in a more positive light. Margarita quotes the well-known saying ‘when life throws lemons, make lemonade’. When I am struck with a low period I try to tell myself it is nature’s way of making me rest and accept it instead of fighting it. I take my breakfast back to bed and have my laptop and a book at the ready. I reframe ‘not socialising’ as ‘my need for solitude’. Of course, it doesn’t work all the time but it is worth a try. However, it is a fact that over-stimulation is not good for those with bi-polar so the lows are often nature’s way of reducing stimulation. On a more basic level, if someone shows they do not want to be friendly, tell yourself that you are deciding you don’t want to be friendly with that person. When you suffer with Bi-Polar it is important to choose your friends and avoid those who cause aggravation. Decisions also need to be yours and yours alone.

Number eight on Margarita’s list is be grateful.  This, according to her, attracts positivity, opportunity and success. Writing down a list of ‘blessings’ has worked for me in the past. So often when we are depressed we forget what is good in our lives.

For control freaks, the next on the list is let go of what you can’t control. Sometimes we can’t see what it is that is holding us back or depressing us. Identifying what we can change and what we cannot change is key to combating depression. We might not be able to change a situation but we CAN change our attitude to it. Sometimes we cannot control something but we can manage it. This is true of Bi-Polar Disorder. We can’t control this as, even with medication, the brain will sometimes do it worst, but we can watch for Early Warning Signs (EWS) and be aware of triggers that either bring us down or send us into over-exuberance. Then we can take appropriate action. If we know we have ‘tried’ then we will not beat ourselves up about it.

Finally there is create an intention. After reading this, I decided to have some things on my TO DO list that could be prefaced by ‘I will ….’  However, somewhere we have to remember our realistic and attainable goals. Don’t say ‘I will …..’ if it is something that would be hard to achieve, expensive or detrimental to your well-being.

Good luck with the Ten Things. Visit Margarita’s articles on www.psychcentral.com and let me know how you do.

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Uncategorized

IMPROVING LIFE

I have been taking an interest in an American website www.psychcentral.com recently. I am not sure how I found it but think, possibly, it was via a link on Facebook or on another bi-polar blog. These blogs, far from being morbid and self-indulgent, are positive, uplifting and provide much useful advice even if only via a link to a website. A psychcentral blogger, Margarita Tartakovsky has written several articles. One of these is Ten Things to Improve Life and these are my interpretations. The first is write a better story for your day. I say this can be on paper or in your head. I make a list of things to do each day such as exercises, yoga, walks and playing my piano. Reflecting on the positive aspects of a day is also a good idea so writing a diary – something I wish I had done throughout my life – where you log all the good things that happened – can make you feel better.

A more difficult item on her list is Identify what is keeping you stuck. This can be negative thinking or perhaps even another person. Low self esteem can prevent us doing what we need to do. I am stuck at present in ‘Writers’ Block’ although those reading this might think this is not the case. I have a novel that needs a ‘middle’ and lots of re-working and my view is that it is ‘in a mess’. When I looked at it recently I reckoned it was a load of rubbish. When my mood lifts, I may see that it is not so bad. Making myself write up my ideas from Margarita’s blog is releasing something.

Easier is go to bed earlier. I have been doing this for some time now and I do feel better when I am in bed between 10.30 and 11 especially if it means I have time to READ.

Also easier is participate in physical activity which you enjoy. I like walking and yoga so I have built this up in the last two or three weeks and it has made a difference to my mood. I hope to start swimming again in a nearby pool but the weather has been so wet, cold and miserable. This is a form of ‘being stuck’. If I could force myself to go I would benefit.

More difficult is to focus on ‘right now’ and be grounded in the present. I know people on Mindfulness courses at present. Mindfulness has been found to help with depression and negative thinking. Staying in the moment, without looking back or worrying about the future, really does help the mind to stay positive. I find that when I am writing I am purely in the moment which is, I am sure, why writing has been found to be so therapeutic.

Physical Action is another one of the Ten Things. Often anxiety and depression can make us ‘freeze’ and fail to do things which we need to do. Being pre-occupied prevents us from pushing on with pleasurable activities, leaves us confused and unable to make decisions which then leads us to feel angry with ourselves. ‘Just do something’ even if it is only a crossword or a Sudoku puzzle. Along with this improvement, however, we must ensure we set realistic and attainable goals. For example, don’t struggle with the Telegraph crossword if a concise one in another paper brings more success.

The seventh item was to reframe a situation in a more positive light. Margarita quotes the well-known saying ‘when life throws lemons at you, make lemonade’. When I am struck with a low period I try to tell myself it is nature’s way of making me rest and accept it instead of fighting it. I take my breakfast back to bed and have my laptop and a book at the ready. I tell myself that not socialising is my need for solitude. Of course, it doesn’t work all the time but it is worth a try. However, it is a fact that over-stimulation is not good for those with bi-polar so the lows are often nature’s way of reducing stimulation. On a more basic level, if someone shows they do not want to be friendly, tell yourself that you are deciding you don’t want to be friendly with that person. When you suffer with Bi-Polar it is important to choose your friends and avoid those who cause aggravation. Decisions also need to be yours and yours alone.

Number eight on Margarita’s list is be grateful.  This, according to her, attracts positivity, opportunity and success. Writing down a list of ‘blessings’ has worked for me in the past. So often when we are depressed we forget what is good in our lives.

For control freaks, the next on the list is let go of what you can’t control. Sometimes we can’t see what it is that is holding us back or depressing us. Identifying what we can change and what we cannot change is key to combating depression. We might not be able to change a situation but we CAN change our attitude to it. Sometimes we cannot control something but we can manage it. This is true of Bi-Polar Disorder. We can’t control this as, even with medication, the brain will sometimes do it worst, but we can watch for Early Warning Signs (EWS) and be aware of triggers that can either bring us down or send us into over-exuberance. Then we can take appropriate action. If we know we have ‘tried’ then we will not beat ourselves up about it.

Finally there is create an intention. After reading this, I decided to have some things on my TO DO list that could be prefaced by ‘I will ….’  However, somewhere we have to remember our realistic and attainable goals. Don’t say ‘I will …..’ if it is something that would be hard to achieve, expensive or detrimental to your well-being.

Good luck with the Ten Things. Let me know how you do.

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